Thursday, January 11, 2007

When I Was Their Age

I must be getting old. When I look at our kids as they live out their lives, I sometimes want to give them pointers to help them out. Sometimes I do give them pointers. Other times, I figure it's a lesson that they'll remember better if they learn it on their own. That can be pretty rough on a dad, letting them have the freedom to make their own decisions. It wasn't that long ago that it was my job to make the decisions. When they make wise decisions, it's a thrill to watch them reap the rewards. (And it's hard not to give myself at least a little pat on the back. True, they made the decision on their own, but I like to think I had a part in it long ago.)

Even when they make poor decisions and pay the price, it sometimes warms my heart to see the way they grow through it and hopefully learn from the experience. I've seen many wise and noble choices made by our kids over the years. They're good kids. But the last few weeks have seen some downright bad decisions. If I'm going to pat myself on the back when they do well, it's only fair that I accept my lumps when they don't do so well. And right now, that warm-hearted feeling ain't being felt by me. It's times like this that make me want to say, "When I was your age I did this and this, and I NEVER did that!" But the truth is, I'm glad they never saw my worst years. When I was their age, I usually didn't do this and this, and I
did that almost constantly. Sometimes I can pass on wisdom via the voice of experience, but sometimes my wisdom comes off as hypocrisy. I did it, so why shouldn't they? These things they'll just have to find out for themselves. There are lots of mistakes I made when I was younger that taught me valuable lessons, but that doesn't mean that if I could turn back time I would do it all the same. Sigh....

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, as someone without children (as of now...they're coming in a couple of years, though, or my wife will leave me...haha), I can't say that I know exactly what you're going through, but I can imagine.

Just out of curiosity, derifter, how old are your kids?

January 14, 2007 2:35 AM  
Blogger DErifter said...

We have 4 kids, the youngest is 23 so me and momma bird have the nest all to ourselves.

January 14, 2007 6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, derifter, I don't want to depress your or anything, but you could be my dad.

Now let's never speak of this again.

January 27, 2007 1:08 AM  
Blogger DErifter said...

Good idea, Josh.
If we can just let that lie, I'll count you as one of "the good kids". Then I won't have to give you a timeout.

January 27, 2007 10:37 AM  

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